The sharing of non-VA information does not constitute an endorsement of products or services by the Department of Veterans Affairs. Veterans should always verify information with the organization offering the program.<\/p>\n
When someone dies by suicide, the grief can feel isolating, overwhelming and unlike any other kind of loss. Bereaved survivors often struggle with painful questions, regret and self-blame, confusion and complex emotions. When left unsupported, there can be an increased risk for depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts or actions\u2014this is why a post-vention response, along with peer-based support, is so important to reduce the risk for suicide.<\/p>\n
Our partners at Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) understand this unique kind of grief because we are bereaved survivors ourselves. For over 30 years, TAPS has walked beside military and Veteran families after the death of a loved one, providing comfort, resources and, most importantly, connection. One of their most powerful tools for suicide prevention is through\u00a0post-vention support with the TAPS Peer Mentor Program: A peer-to-peer model built on the belief that no one should walk this journey alone.<\/p>\n
When a suicide occurs, the ripple effects can be deep and wide-reaching, where loss survivors may be dealing with the emotional pain of loss, as well as a host of secondary losses\u2014relationships, connection, community, faith, social support or identity. The majority of suicide loss survivors share how they feel different from other losses, which can make it hard to ask for or find help. This is where reciprocal peer mentoring support plays a uniquely powerful role.<\/p>\n
Grief after suicide can often be complicated by aspects of societal stigma, taboo or shame. Because of this, bereaved survivors may feel judged, misunderstood or even blamed in some circumstances, but when meeting someone else who has experienced a similar loss and made it through the darkest moments, there can be a relief to know one is not alone.\u00a0There can be an immediate sense of safety and understanding. Peers can truly empathize\u2014their own lived experience makes them a beacon of hope that healing is possible.<\/p>\n
Research demonstrates that individuals impacted by a suicide death are themselves at heightened risk for suicidal ideation and mental health struggles when not offered adequate post-vention care and support. Components of care may include traditional therapy, oversight with a medical provider, and professional interventions, but many suicide loss survivors share that some of the most helpful support comes from connecting with someone else with similar experiences.<\/p>\n
For over three decades, TAPS has witnessed how peer mentoring reduces isolation by normalizing the experience of traumatic grief;\u00a0how it fosters resilience through shared stories, coping skills, and encouragement; how it encourages help-seeking by creating a bridge to professional resources; and perhaps most significantly\u2014how it lowers suicide risk by creating stability and safety after loss, with an intentional pathway of healing for a life ahead.\u00a0<\/p>\n
These outcomes don\u2019t happen by accident. They\u2019re the result of intentional design, robust training based on best practices, and the authentic human connection that happens when people show up for each other in the hardest moments.<\/p>\n
The TAPS Peer Mentor Program is both a suicide prevention and a post-vention tool, meaning it not only supports those at risk, but also helps prevent further loss by nurturing hope and healing for survivors rooted in safety and trauma-informed care.<\/p>\n
Peer mentors are not expected to be clinicians or therapists. They\u2019re survivors who are further along in their own grief journey and feel ready to give back by supporting others. Before being matched, each mentor completes a structured training program that includes suicide grief and trauma-informed care, active listening and communication skills, boundary setting and emotional self-care, and understanding when and how to refer to professional resources. This training is essential to ensuring mentors can provide safe, compassionate and non-judgmental support, not only to others, but to themselves as well.<\/p>\n
TAPS carefully matches mentors and mentees based on several factors, including type of relationship (e.g., surviving spouse, parent, sibling), type of loss (e.g., suicide, combat, illness), and other shared life experiences and unique needs. This intentional pairing helps foster an immediate sense of trust, where individuals often share how the awareness of someone else having survived a similar kind of loss offers a sense of hope that no other resource can match.<\/p>\n
Through sustained support and a caring community, peer mentors are never alone. They are part of the broader TAPS family, a national network of survivors, professionals and military-connected resources. This includes casework and advocacy services, access to mental health and wellness support, connection to support at the Departments of Veterans Affairs (VA) and Defense (DoD), educational and financial assistance, and dedicated programs and services. Mentors receive ongoing guidance, support and supervision to ensure that they are empowered and cared for as they care for others.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI never thought I\u2019d get through the first year after my husband died by suicide. Meeting my peer mentor changed everything. She didn\u2019t judge me. She just listened and understood. Knowing she had been where I was\u2014and survived\u2014gave me the strength to keep going.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
The quote above is just one of the countless testimonials TAPS hears from survivors on a\u00a0daily basis. Peer mentors don\u2019t offer answers or solutions, because there are none in the case of grief. But they do offer something just as valuable when they provide their own\u00a0presence, patience and the encouragement that life can go on, even when it feels impossible.<\/p>\n
Attributes of a TAPS Peer Mentor<\/h2>\n
Not every bereaved survivor is ready to become a mentor, which is okay and understandable, as healing has no timeline and is unique for each person. But for those who feel called to support others, TAPS provides the training and specific tools to do so with safety and compassionate care. Some of the qualities that make for strong peer mentoring include: Empathy for listening without judgment and validating of emotions,\u00a0patience to allow each person to move through grief at their own pace, a commitment to be available and reliable, respect for boundaries; balancing of knowing when to listen, when to share, and when to refer someone to professional help; and the element of posttraumatic growth to use one\u2019s own healing journey as a foundation for helping others<\/p>\n
Suicide prevention in action<\/h2>\n
Peer mentoring doesn\u2019t just help individuals, it creates safer, stronger communities. When a bereaved survivor feels seen and supported, their\u00a0level of risk can be reduced. Every time someone chooses to live another day because of the encouragement they received from a peer mentor, it validates the notion that lives are saved.<\/p>\n
At its core, the TAPS Peer Mentor Program is about human connection that sends a powerful\u00a0message: You\u2019re not alone. I\u2019ve been there. And I\u2019m here for you.<\/p>\n
When we talk about suicide prevention, we often focus on crisis lines, medical treatment and policy changes. These are critical, but it doesn\u2019t stop here. Healing also happens in chat rooms, sharing sessions, living rooms, coffee shops, in texts or phone calls through the quiet tears. It happens when someone says, \u201cI hear you and can understand because I have been there myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
How to get involved<\/h2>\n
Whether you\u2019re in the early stages of your grief or perhaps years down the road, there\u2019s a place for you within the TAPS community. Here are several ways you can participate:<\/p>\n
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- Be matched with a peer mentor\n
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- If you are grieving a suicide loss, you can request a peer mentor who has experienced a similar type of loss. Having someone by your side who has also traveled on this journey can help you feel less alone, provide hope and share experiences to offer practical ways to cope.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n