In the chronic pain school, I taught Veterans a strategy for scheduling pleasant activities: “Work and chores can expand like helium,” I’d say, and they will “take up all the space in your calendar if you don’t block time out for something else.”
Veterans agreed with that idea, sharing their stories of always needing to do one more thing and only feeling productive when they were checking off their to-do lists. The idea and practice of scheduling fun activities was challenging, even when the class saw why doing so was helpful.
I now see a problem with this approach. When you schedule something you enjoy, you’re then pressured to do that activity and enjoy it. It doesn’t matter whether you still want to go for a walk or read a book, if the weather’s hot or the book is boring you feel like you wasted your time. You then think, “I knew I should have cleaned those gutters instead,” and your reason for scheduling a pleasant activity is gone.
Racing not to waste
This relates to our fear of “wasting time” and trying to make all our time useful. Mindful awareness addresses this by teaching us how to live fully in the present moment by paying attention to where we are and what we’re doing. However, we can become so focused on trying to be present that we lose the meaningful experience we wanted to have. It’s like working hard to fall asleep, which usually leads to being wide-awake and thinking you’re failing at sleeping.
A better approach might be realizing that you’re in the present moment whether you want to be or not. It doesn’t take effort to be where you are because there’s no option. Perhaps when we stop trying so hard to make time meaningful and productive, we can start truly appreciating that time.
Paced breathing
This 8-minute, paced-breathing practice led by Dr. Tracy Gaudet is a good opportunity to practice slowing down your breathing and noticing its effects on your thoughts and body.
If you find your mind wandering during the practice… that’s okay! This time has no specific goal, there are no boxes to check off, you don’t need to have a particular experience. So just see what happens as you listen.
Breathing, rest, recharge
There are many other mindful breathing practices that may help ground us, clear our minds, shed stress or appreciate life’s little joys. This handout has other simple breathing exercises and tips. Or check out #LiveWholeHealth’s catalog of similar breathing practice videos.